Inner Child Work
In my practice I put big emphasis on importance of inner child work. Every single one of us at some stage or another have experienced trauma. Some more than others. Trauma leaves deeper scars if it is experience early on in life. It could be traumatic childbirth, separation from the mother or father immediately after birth or at later stage, separation of parents, unpredictable environment in the household, one or both parents struggling and are not available to provide a secure loving nurturing environment, abuse, major surgery, car accident and so on.
When trauma is experienced at very early stage of our life, it can result in partial soul loss/dissociation/fight or flight, there are many different terms but in essence, part of us/important essence of us leaves to survive the experience. When that happens the survivor part of us takes over. The survivor part is very important and without it we will not be able to move forward, but as we get older it will remain in our way of healthy functioning until we pay attention and do the work to heal our traumas to heal the Inner Child part of us.
The survivor part will show up as soon as there is a trigger, it can be something as simple as familiar music from the past, smell, colour, similar situation and so on. Trigger will be activated, and survivor part will take over. Iven though we are out of danger, and it happened many years ago it might feel as if it is happening now. Without consciously realising we will have a trauma response again and again and again. It can wreak havoc in our lives, making challenging to form healthy relationships, commitment will be difficult, difficulty keeping a job, addictions, difficulty sleeping, anxiety and panic attacks, difficulty self-regulating, self-sabotage, depression and so on.
For us to become healthy adults and for survivor part of us to step a side and allow the healthy adult to take fully over, the child part needs to be heard, seen, loved, nurtured and made feel safe and secure. Only then we can fully take our lives as adults. It is important to mention that the only person that can do this for us is Us. Of course, with support and guidance, but it is Us that must take full responsibility for parts that needs to be healed and nurtured. The process will be different for each one of us, what is beautiful to witness is when our inner child is able to receive what has been missing, we become at peace. Our choices will reflect our inner state as well and before we know it, we will be ready to take our live fully as strong, healthy adult.
For the healing to take place this work requires willingness, patience, compassion to self and trust. We can’t have bright future without healing the past.
A poem on childhood trauma by Alice Little